SHOWNOTES FOR EPISODE 071 (9:13)
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MOST OF MY SCRIPT FOR THE SHOW
On the last Top Tips For Sexual Purity podcast, I talked about the importance of discovering and exploring our wounds. We cannot be delivered from a sexual addiction and achieve a place of sexual purity without going to the hurts and painful places in our lives.
The whole point of the last podcast was that we all have wounds that are driving our sexual behavior, and we need to make a commitment to work on them.
Today’s podcast will give you some practical ways to discover your wounds and some ways to promote healing.
HOW DO I DISCOVER MY WOUNDS?
Here are some ways that we can begin to find out where our hurts are:
1. Prayer –Let the Spirit of God search your heart and bring things to your mind that you need to heal from. Ask Him what hurts you have.
2. Journaling – If you stopped listening to this podcast (reading this blog) right now and got a piece of paper, I bet you could write out half a page of hurts you have in your life. In fact, that was your homework from the last episode. I’m serious about it. Get yourself a journal or a notebook. Start writing down your hurts and exploring what’s there.
3. Counselor – I’m a big fan of counselors. Find a Christian counselor who can help you explore the deeper stuff. They have been trained to know how to ask the right questions and help you dig. They have seen hundreds of people and helped them work through their pain. Most of my deepest stuff has been uncovered with the help of my counselors.
4. Experienced people – An experienced person will be someone who has been through the same type of struggles you are going through. They are farther along on the journey toward sexual purity and can help you identify things that you don’t know are there.
The experienced person can his story. Hearing the stories of others is very valuable to your healing. When you hear what others have struggled with, their wounds and pain will resonate with yours. Their stories and experiences will help you identify your own hurts.
5. Read Recovery Material – Good books on sexual addiction recovery and sexual purity talk about the deeper stuff. One of my favorite basic recovery books is Faithful and True, written by Mark Laaser. I have a list of helpful resources on our main site www.porntopurity.com that will be a big help to you.
DOESN’T JESUS HEAL ALL MY WOUNDS?
Those who are Christians might ask this question.
“Doesn’t the cross heal my wounds?”
“Doesn’t having a relationships with Jesus heal my hurts?”
Or the larger question:
“Doesn’t having Jesus in my life free me from porn?”
The short answer is “absolutely!” The deepest healing does come from Christ, and he is able to heal all of our wounds. The Bible says He is sent to “bind up the wounds of the brokenhearted”, he has been sent to “set the captives free”.
But consider two important things:
Healing is a Process
Healing from our woundings is a process, not a single event. Accepting Jesus’ forgiveness for our sins takes away our condemnation and brings us close to our Savior. But salvation is not going to automatically cure all of our damage. Most of our heal come through a process of searching, seeking God’s help, identifying our struggles, surrendering them to God and receiving His healing.
God uses other people to help us
We can figure some of our woundings out, but we can’t figure everything out. God will often use other people to help us uncover our hurts and the painful spots.
God works through relationships. Our relationship with Him is primary. Bring yourself to Jesus. Soak in His Word, and when you discover your wounds, bring them to Him for healing.
Our relationship with others has tremendous benefit. Spend time with people who can help you with your soul and emotions.
A HELPFUL EXERCISE
In the early stages of my recovery when I was working through my deep stuff, my counselor gave me a helpful exercise. He told me to get a notebook and write each wound I could think of on a separate page. Then go back and spend time with each page, one-by-one.
With each wound ask:
1. God, what am I feeling and believing about this wound?
I would write out everything I could think of about that wound on the page. Feelings. Beliefs. Lies. I would try to sit in the pain and go back to it.
** Let me say, this is a step you might want to work on with a counselor. Our stuff can be extremely painful. It helps to have someone experienced with us as we explore it.
2. God, what do you think about this wound? What’s the truth about this wound?
This is where you bring it to God. You are still and you listen for his voice. You write down the things He says. You ask Him for healing and you lift up each wound to God. Lift up the pain to God and let Him bring His healing.
This was such a good exercise for me. It took a lot of time, but helped me explore the pain that I had. Sometimes I had anger that I needed to let go of. Sometimes there were things that hurt God’s heart and I felt His comfort and presence. Sometimes there were sins that I needed to confess and relationships that I had to repair. Sometimes there were lies I believed about my wounds, and I needed to know God’s truth.
Working on your wounds is an offensive strategy. It is essential work on your insides, and a healthier inside leads to a healthy outside. Those who are finding victory in their sexual struggles, and doing the hard work by letting God and others help them work through their wounds.
Thanks For Listening!
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RESOURCES – MUSIC NOTES – LINKS (below)
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Resources
www.porntopurity.com (Main Website)
http://porntopurity.wordpress.com (Porn to Purity Blog)
Show Music from MusicAlley.com
Show Theme – Derek K. Miller “Hotcake Syrup”
Background - Andy McKee “Nakagawa San”
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Top tips for sexual purity. The meat. Get to the most important stuff in bite-sized pieces.
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