SHOWNOTES FOR EPISODE 042
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Offense = measures you take to strengthen your inner man (heart)
Defense = measures you take to protect yourself from acting out sexually
1. Relationships with other men – We need healthy relationships to succeed as a man, and to succeed in our sexuality. We have spent many years pouring our energy into lustful things. We are grossly deficient in healthy relationships and need other men to lean on when we have struggles. Pouring into other guys keeps us from selfishness.
2. Relationship with your spouse – Pouring into our spouse also keeps us from selfishness. Our spouses have probably been objects of our lust. We need to learn to serve them. We also need to realize the greatest ally and supporter God has given us is our spouse.
3. Healthy outlets for your passions and creativity – We are passionate, creative people. We have spent a lot of time, energy, and money on our lustful habits. We need to find healthy places for that energy. Take up a hobby. Build something. Go to the gym. Learning to pour yourself in healthy directions when you feel edgy and triggery is a huge step. We have to learn to think differently with our creativity. 4. Healthy habits to keep you busy – We have developed bad habits and reinforced them. We need to stop our bad habits (defensive), and replace them with good ones (offensive). The TV vegging has to give up its throne. Chilling out on YouTube needs to be replaced by a healthier habit. Get busy with something different. Fill your day with something that doesn’t make you feel triggery or lead you down a wrong path.
5. Work on your wounds – Our hearts need God’s healing. We all have hurts in our past and damage that was done. Our wounds might be deep anger, disappointment, resentment, negative messages, grief or abuse. Deeper healing helps us grow strong on the inside. Face the pain with a counselor, or a pastor. Bring your wounds to God and let Him heal you and teach you His truth. 6. Support Group – Groups are both defensive and offensive. They can help you with roadblocks, but they can also help you explore the deeper stuff. They can hear things and see things in your life that you cannot. No one can do recovery on his own. He needs other men to challenge him and help him work through issues.
7. Help others with their struggles – Internally, we have been very selfish in our addiction. We have to learn to focus on and care for others in our recovery. Reversing the flow from selfish to serving is huge for our sexual health.8. Prayer and the Word of God Washing You – Nothing changes your inside more than the power of God and the power of His Word. You have to open your life up to His Word. We have believed lies about our identity and about sexuality. We need God’s Truth to correct us from the inside out.
9. Way of getting your feelings out – Sexual addicts are great at internalizing their feelings. They like to be alone, in control, and open up to very few people. Recovery means you are learning to share your feelings. You need someone to talk to. You need to learn how to talk to God. You may need a journal or notebook to help you with this area. 10. Read recovery materials – People successful in recovery are reading books and articles. They are seeking guidance and mentorship. Anything by Dr. Doug Weiss or Dr. Mark Laaser is a good place to start.
Great List of Resources, Books, Websites
11. Hearing and sharing stories – God uses the stories of others to give us hope, encouragement, challenge, and tips. We realize we are not alone in our struggles. Sharing your story becomes a way that you learn to serve and help others.
PROBLEMS WITH OFFENSE ONLY
Some will focus so much on offense that they neglect defense. We can get so wrapped up in ourselves, our heart condition, and our relationships, that we forget to set up the necessary roadblocks. God uses others in our recovery. We need skilled hands (pastors, counselors, mentors). Sexual purity is not up to us alone. We need to confess to others, submit to others, serve others, bear one another’s burdens.
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Resources
www.porntopurity.com (Main Website)
http://porntopurity.wordpress.com (Porn to Purity Blog)
Show Music from MusicAlley.com
Show Theme – Derek K. Miller “Hotcake Syrup”
Background - Andy McKee “Z-14″
The 104 Podcast
Top tips for sexual purity. The meat. Get to the most important stuff in bite-sized pieces.
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