SHOWNOTES FOR EPISODE 028
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The worst thing you can do if you are working on your sexual purity is be anonymous.Anonymity. When nobody knows who you are, your history, your baggage. You are not accountable. Nobody is checking your schedule. You’re by yourself, alone left to do whatever you want.
MY ANONYMITY
I looked forward to my wife leaving and going to see her parents. It meant I could watch TV that I didn’t normally watch or rent movies that were questionable. Or buy something at a store to help me act out sexually. I could stay up late looking out the window to the neighbor’s house.
The same goes for my trips away from home. I could do whatever I want and be whomever I wanted to be.
So dangerous! Anonymity is a license to act out. It is a license to relapse.
HOW TO WORK ON IT
1. Choose to be truthful – you have to make a decision in your heart to value the truth. You’re intent has to be truth. Don’t mess around, share the truth of your life with someone, even a counselor. You’re only as truthful as you want to be.
2. Choose to be accountable – You’ve got to find someone you can share openly with about your trips, or your times alone. You need someone to help you with a strategy and ask you the hard questions. You’re only as accountable as you want to be.
3. Submit to restrictions and boundaries – You have to have a good strategy. You’ve got to draw up some boundaries before hand. Talk with your accountability partner about it. Talk to your wife about it.
On a trip – have them disconnect the porn channels, don’t go out after 10pm, don’t go our alone, hang out in the lobby until bedtime.
For alone time – no rated “R” movies, no computer usage after a certain time, phone-a-friend, hang out with others, sleep in another room, don’t go out by yourself.
Chatrooms – A haven for anonymity. You probably have to stay away from these. Even Facebook can lead to problems of anonymity. Restrict or cut off the chatrooms.
4. Sacrifice some freedoms – There are some things you just have to give up in order to get better. Relationships. Movies. Television channels. Internet usage. Chatrooms. Going to certain stores. Magazine subscriptions. Trips away from home.
Do whatever you can to avoid anonymity. You need people in your life who know what you struggle with and will be there to support you. You need to be in the right places and stay focused on your quest for purity.
Resources
www.porntopurity.com (Main Website)
http://porntopurity.wordpress.com (Porn to Purity Blog)
The 104 Podcast
Top tips for sexual purity. The meat. Get to the most important stuff in bite-sized pieces.
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