SHOWNOTES FOR EPISODE 018
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On the last podcast I shared 6 tips that will help you tell your spouse about your sexual addiction.
- Talk to someone safe first
- Commit to valuing the truth
- Don’t be defensive
- Don’t blame your spouse
- Come humble, repentant, sorrowful
- Don’t expect instant support and forgiveness
I encourage you to go back and download the show.
Today I want to share 5 more tips and offer some encouragement and prayer support.
7. BE PREPARED FOR SOME LASH OUT – Some spouses have a strong to the news. That is why it might be good to share the news in a counselor’s office or have a close, trusted friend close. Talk to your counselor first about what would be the best strategy.
8. NO MARRIAGE IS HOPELESS – If both spouses stay committed to the recovery process and allow God to be a part of the recovery, we don’t believe any marriage is hopeless. We have seen and read about many marriages recovering and coming out stronger.
The reality is that every marriage has problems. Every person in a marriage has problems. But most marriages don’t deal with the problems in healthy ways. Sometimes getting healthy means a lot of work, counseling time, and pain. But if you are committed to your marriage, you need to exhaust yourself in your efforts to work on it. You need to cry out to God for His strong power and help. You can do it.
9. GIVE YOU SPOUSE SOME SPACE – Spouses need space when they have heard shocking news. Asking your spouse if he/she needs some space is helpful? Asking, “How can I help you right now?” might be good also. But don’t expect a resolution to happen in a night, a week, or a month.
10. ANSWER QUESTIONS TRUTHFULLY – We have already encouraged you to Be Committed to the Truth. Answer the questions you are asked. Different spouses want to know different things. Some want to know the details. Others don’t. You need to be truthful with your spouse and your spouse deserves whatever answers will help them process and work through this.
11. BE PREPARED TO LEAD YOUR FAMILY INTO THE RECOVERY PROCESS – Hopefully, you’ve already begun your recovery process. You being serious about your recovery will speak volumes. It is not your spouse’s job to chart the recovery process, it’s yours. So have a plan in place. Get serious help.
We have found that addicts (including Jeff) are worse off than they think. They have been deceived to think that they are really OK. A professional counselor and a support group will provide some objective feedback for you to assess where you are.
Focus hard on recovery. Spend the money, it’s worth it! Spend the time, it’s worth it!
Resources
www.porntopurity.com (Main Website)
http://porntopurity.wordpress.com (Porn to Purity Blog)
The 104 Podcast
Top tips for sexual purity. The meat. Get to the most important stuff in bite-sized pieces.
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