SHOWNOTES FOR EPISODE 012
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In the recovery process, you start with the big things. Your bottom lines. I’ve talked about bottom lines before, but a bottom line is simply “a line that you have crossed before in the sexual area, that you don’t want to cross over again”. If you cross a bottom line, it is in indicator that you have more work to do.
Purity starts with the big things. Avoiding bad behaviors. Setting up roadblocks. Embracing good behaviors.
Some of the bigger bottom lines I’ve heard people talk about are: viewing Internet pornography, soliciting prostitutes, having adulterous affairs, porn shops, massage parlors, masturbating.
People in recovery who are getting better start creating more and more distance between themselves and their bottom lines. If they are growing healthy, they will start having more and more “good weeks”.
Guys in group will talk about having a “good week”. Meaning, they didn’t cross any bottom lines.
WHAT’S THE GOAL HERE?
So, I want to stop and ask a question: “What’s the goal of support group?” Is it just to have one more good week, or something deeper. I’m not knocking the guys that have had one more good weeks. We need to build up or good weeks. But at some point we need to shoot for a higher goal.
The higher goal seems to be sexual purity in all areas.
Paul sets gives us a big challenge in Ephesians 5:3
Don’t set the bar at only your bottom lines? Set the bar where God sets it: living a sexually pure life. Keep moving. Keep raising the bar for yourself.
MOVE YOUR BOTTOM LINES UP
At some point in recovery, the smaller things need to become the bigger things. I think our bottom lines should be changing. Maybe masturbation is the focus of the moment. Maybe fantasizing about women needs to be a bottom line. Maybe our intentional walks past someone’s desk needs to be a bottom line. Maybe looking at women as objects needs to be my new bottom line. Maybe saying hurtful things to my wife needs to be a bottom line.
Where are your present struggles? Where are the areas you are having trouble surrendering over to God? These are where you need to hang your hat for a while and dig in.
What should your current bottom lines be?
Resources
www.porntopurity.com (Main Website)
http://porntopurity.wordpress.com (Porn to Purity Blog)
The 104 Podcast
Top tips for sexual purity. The meat. Get to the most important stuff in bite-sized pieces.
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