SHOWNOTES FOR EPISODE 010
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Here’s some things that were helpful for me when I went through withdrawals:
Find a close friend you can talk with everyday – My friend got an earful. I had anger, frustration, regret, happy days, better days, bad days. I really needed a friend to talk it through with. We talked nearly every day for the first few weeks after my porn habit got found out.
Deep, honest praying to God – This is where I get totally frank with God. I had several times when I dumped everything out on Him, and at Him. I had times of asking for strength to get through the day. Other times, I cursed Him for making me the way I was. God hasn’t left me. He can take it.
Being a part of a support group – When I got into a support group, I had a group of guys surrounding me that had been through many of the same struggles that I could talk to.
Stay busy, fill up your day – It’s easy to get depressed during those early days of withdrawal. Make sure you fill your day with something. Errands. Working on a project. My relief came in the form of my Xbox and a Tiger Woods Golf game. I played the heck out of it!
Journaling – Writing out your hurts, pains and frustrations is very helpful. I have a folder in my clothes drawer full of these writings. Writing things out can help you vent and process and pause to invite God in.
Strong commitment to the bigger picture – The bigger picture is not to stop looking at online porn. It’s to be sexually pure for God, my wife, myself, my friends… I believe that the backside of the pain is worth it. I believe I can be sexually healthy. I believe I can have a pure body, pure mind, and pure eyes. I believe I can have a close relationship with my wife.
Seeing the hurt of others – Remembering the hurt of my wife, her anger, and her feelings that I had ruined her life. That was good to keep in my mind as a motivator. Losing my job and my church family was another strong reason to stay on task. Losing my reputation in the ministry community was another motivator. My sexual sin hurt a lot of people. I needed to push through the withdrawals for their sake.
Find lots of healthy ways to relieve your stress – I already mentioned my Xbox golfing. Going to the gym, working out, going for a walk, working on a project. Find something that takes your energy and pours it into something healthy and constructive.
Resources
www.porntopurity.com (Main Website)
http://porntopurity.wordpress.com (Porn to Purity Blog)
The 104 Podcast
Top tips for sexual purity. The meat. Get to the most important stuff in bite-sized pieces.
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Posted by Love me some Rock Band! on October 7, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I don’t own an Xbox, but I’ve had access to one at times and found that it was always a great way to pass those “lonely hours” when I might otherwise be pulling my hair out trying to find a “fix”. I also think the bigger picture and the hurt that I’ve already caused are the two things I can think about that can pull me back from the cliff. I’m sure you can feel the sinking feeling in your stomach that you felt that day in Buffalo. I remember my “moment” in my hardest hours. I use the “big picture” whenever I think about recovery or when I think I might be slipping into something that is taking me down the wrong road onto that slippery slope. I know I can be sexually pure and have pure eyes and a pure heart through God’s grace.