SHOWNOTES FOR EPISODE 008
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Here are some helps from WikiHow.com on how to avoid flirting. This applies to flirty guys as well. (http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Flirting)
- Do not share personal things with this person. - Don’t talk about personal or home problems. Confiding is something that occurs between close friends.
- If this person starts to flirt, block it. – He/She pokes you, don’t poke him/her back. Ignore them and talk about something generic.
- Don’t look the person in the eye. – Concentrate on something else while you talk to him or her, and if you do look at the person, don’t hold the gaze, but don’t look nervous or scared either. Look almost bored, but don’t be rude.
- Motion a friend to come over. - If a friend senses your discomfort, they’ll often intervene.
- Leave. – Politely tell them that you have somewhere else to get to or someone else you need to talk to.
- Talk about your significant other or other guys/girls. - Make sure this is naturally woven into the conversation, as this tactic can be very insulting if not done carefully.
- Use closed body language. – Have your arms folded and lean away from the person.
MY ADDITIONS
- Talk to your accountability partner about this person
- Pray for the person. Surrender them to God.
- Fill your heart with greater loves – pour into your relationship with God, pour into your wife, your friends
Resources
www.porntopurity.com (Main Website)
http://porntopurity.wordpress.com (Porn to Purity Blog)
The 104 Podcast
Top tips for sexual purity. The meat. Get to the most important stuff in bite-sized pieces.
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Posted by SoTrue! on October 7, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I really like this one, Jeff. I think it is such a long road to get back to a place where we can have healthy, non-lustful relationships with women, even the nicest and most innocent ones. “Flirty girls” are certainly much more challenging. We can’t presume they have the same problems that we do, but isn’t it amazing how once you’re on the other side, you can see that there’s got to be SOMETHING that’s going on in that person’s life that is making them act that way towards you (and that it’s not just your charm and good looks)? That thought is what makes it really easy for me to step back and pray for these “flirty girls”. I just pray that they’ll find ways to resolve their own pain and get right with God before they get all the way down the road we’ve traveled.
And we can remember that it’s not just “flirty girls” that get us in trouble! You may not so much in the ministry, but I run across plenty of guys that are a terrible example or influence for me. Maybe all they remember is the “old” me. Maybe they’re addicts themselves. Either way, that can also be a trying time when a friend or acquaintance that doesn’t know you’re in recovery starts to push your triggers.
Thanks again for being so open and honest!
Posted by 104podcast on October 8, 2009 at 9:36 am
That’s a good point about the guys that influence us as well. Our peers. We grow up in a culture of objectifying women, oogling them, cutting dirty jokes. Good idea for a future blog!